Monday, October 04, 2004
Taking a walk through the garden of life
Mike left already, it was pretty cool getting to hang out again and me and jim are now good friends again. We saw resident evil 2 with mikes friends. That was pretty fun even with me almost freaking out from missing Jessica in the process. Yesterday Mike had his birthday party and we played guitar a little but I got depressed doing that because I couldn't think of anything to play, I took a break from playing for a while and now that I picked it back up I suck. My ring finger keeps hurting everytime I play too it pisses me off so badly. I feel sometimes that I am not a good bassist at all and the band would do so much better with somebody else. I don't want to give up on Mike and Eion but I just think I'm not good enough for them. I can't come up with anything creative its all following what mike does. Mike writes new stuff all the time and I write zero on bass. I tend not to like to bitch to people in person but here I don't care. I just wish I could play better. I feel like I'm holding them back. But I won't give up on them I will play and write what I can when I can. Its so hard to be away from Jessica sometimes, it physically hurts sometimes to be away from her. I think if I didn't talk to her as much as I do I would lose it. Shes my sanity lol My bitching for the day is done. later.
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you soooo should bitch to me whenever you want to. that's why i'm your girlfriend, because you can bitch to me whenever you want. i bitch to you all the time lol, i hope it doesn't bother you. anyway, you shouldn't think things like not being good for the band because if you weren't good they wouldn't want you, and they do want you (i want you too :-p) and like you said to me on the phone, you've only been playing for not very long, you will get better. you can be as good as you want to be. when i used to play the violin i thought about quitting because i thought i sucked, and i had only been playing for about a year. but i kept playing, and even though i didn't end up being the best, i got better. and i'm starting to remind myself of my dad so...the end. i love you hot pants.
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