goodbye to you at this time

I got back from my trip to bowie, On thursday I went to my grandmothers funeral which was so nice I know she would have loved it. Its sad that I can't cry about funerals like I saw a lot of people doing I was sitting there thinking why am I not crying about this.. I should be just as bad as basically everybody else. I guess I just know its not the end and shes in a better place. I dunno.. Ashley and Elizabeth gave beautiful speaches. They did so good. After we went back to Ashleys and sat around and visited with people who I haven't seen in years. I'm gonna miss grandma deeply but life goes on I guess. Anywho yesterday I went to the airport to get Jessica, it took me awhile to get a space but I found one on the roof so I went into the place and went to baggage claim and looked at the monitors untill it told me where her bags would be. So I waited and waited and I walked around looking and I stood behind someone and I looked and it looked like her so I walked around this metal rail to see and it was her so I ran up behind her and stuff and she is so beautiful its scary not bad scary but good... i dunno. We went to Arundel mills and walked around for a long time and stuff. We saw hitch which lasted longer than I expected and so we still had to go eat and we went to double t diner and I didn't think about anyone else waiting for us. I decided to stay at Ashleys for the night and Jessica met my dad. I took her to Samanthas with her mom being mad because of us being late. I came back and my dad and aunt leslie lectured me and she said that this is why Ashley and her had a "falling out" with Jessica and that if I keep doing that Jessica won't have any friends and it almost made me cry because I began feeling like I was gonna ruin her life and that her friends wouldn't want to be her friend because of me being stupid and shit. Typing that is making me cry.. anyway today we picked up grandmas remains and then me and ashley went to get chinee foo and get jessica and samantha and samantha got a headache and wanted to go home (hope you feel better samantha, and I'm so sorry for bringing her so late). so we got matt and went back. I hope I see her a lot and its hard not talking to her while being home but its worth it and if I can't see her as much as I want I hope she has a good time here with her friends.