anywho..

How come I get so depressed at work? How come when I get depressed I want to post in my blog? How come my posts are always depressing. I think thats all I'm becoming. Just depressed. I mean its not all the time, most of the time I'm happy. When I'm at home on the phone with jessica. Untill she gets sad or I say something or do something stupid to make her sad or mad. Its never that often but when I do its devistating. I know its not good to let 1 person determine my emotions like that but I can't help it. I kinda like it too. its nice loving and caring for someone so completly that the tone of their voice can make my day or make me cry for her. When she is sad it makes me sad, when shes happy, I couldn't be happier, when shes mad, I get more mad than I could be otherwise. I dunno I just love her so much and I want everything for her. I wish I was everything for her. Lately shes been reading to me at night and it makes me think about how lucky I am to have her. It makes me remember exactly how I felt when I met her. It makes me love her more than life itself. I can't live without her. I don't want to keep hurting her. Fuck I guess lifes not perfect but I will try to make her life as perfect as I can. But it will be a while before I can. I hate waiting.