So tired

I am tired of everything that is possible to be tired of. I hate my job, I hate being bored, I hate helping people, I hate answering phones, I hate the people I work with. I'm starting to hate the band its all the same. I live so much farther from them and its no big deal for them to practice only living 5 minutes from eachother but I gotta be 20 minutes away. I don't understand whats wrong with me. I just can't stand playing much anymore its like a job now its not fun anymore. I fuck around just to do something new but I start fucking up the song. Uh I feel like I'm in a rut and I can't get out. The only times I feel good is when I'm on the phone with Jessica and when I'm with her. I need to be with her so badly. Fucking shit. I hate ranting too. AHHH!!