Running away with myself

space

2006-01-09T18:49:00.000-05:00

so you think its fun

2006-01-09T18:31:00.000-05:00

Well jessica was here for a week and 2 days which was so fun! It was the best time I think I ever had. It was just me and her with no stress or problems and I don't think I've ever seen her that happy before. It was so nice. But now I'm alone again which is killing me. Its so hard to do anything anymore. I went out with my friends on saturday and I couldn't have fun cause all I was wishing was for jessica to be here. I FUCKING MISS HER!!! I'm losing my mind.. I think I need to say something to someone but it might come back and bite me in the ass. I feel so fake.. no fuck it I was gonna post more but I will just talk to them. I don't care! Anyway what really pisses me off is bosses. They think that everything has to be their way and if its not like that its fucking wrong, well I'm sorry if I don't say hi to every pathetic piece of shit who shows their stupid face in the office but I don't give a flying fuck about them. And when you do your work but like to talk to coworkers and then you find out people from other departments go to the boss and tell her that you aren't doing your work when that ugly old bitch has no idea how many people we help. She sits in her dumb cubicle and answers phones with her ugly hair and her gay suits. Fucking whore!

anywho

2005-12-14T17:50:00.000-05:00

Its been a while because instead of not enough happening too much has been happening. Ive been going to school and work every day which is so damn hard to do. I'm at school from 8 to 1 most days and back for work at 4 till 8 then i go home and find something to eat then talk to snoogs for like 2 hours then go to sleep. Its so fucking hard to do that. I hope robin fixes my schedule. I feel drained and shit. One thing keeping me going is snoogs coming in a week. Damn am I excited about that. We're gonna have so much fun! I haven't seen her in like 3 months now. It will be nice to see her. Another reason its been a while is because I'm getting sick of people complaining about their petty shit online to everyone. Hell I shouldn't even be doing this but I'm bored so fuck the fuck off assholes! Anyway it seems to me the only reason to have a blog now is to bitch about someone else. its not personal anymore its I fucking hate you and instead of telling you on the phone or to your face I'll post about it. Ok newsflash THATS NOT A GOOD FUCKING IDEA! I'm on the computer all day and I'm reading shit from people and I'm just amazed sometimes. Especially at this site recover your life or some bullshit. Its a bunch of little kids threatening to kill themselves and trying to see if anyone will care. WHO THE FUCK CARES THAT WILL BE 1 LESS DOUCHE IN THE WORLD TO DEAL WITH. Alright that seemed a little harsh but come on now do we really need people we don't know telling us how good our lives are? Life is shit and we need to get used to this. Hmm this is fun Talk to you on the other side with a gash on your face and a knife in your back.

Failed

2005-11-22T12:34:00.000-05:00

The day as sank to night,
The world has no more light.
When the days of play and fun,
Have turned to ways to run.
Ways to run from the heartache,
That comes with making a mistake.
The words I say are never enough,
I scream and yell cause I'm not that tough.
Water spewing from my eyes,
While screaming at the unprotected skies.
I want to be there when you cry,
Even when it makes me die.
The coffin has its final nail,
Every single time I fail.

Nothing Gold Can Stay - Robert Frost

2005-11-22T12:29:00.000-05:00

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay

blah blah

2005-09-29T17:52:00.000-04:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Mystical	\|\|	10%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|	16%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|	16%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|	16%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	24%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Yea well

2005-09-22T16:48:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in a while so I should catch up. Lately I've been obsessed with getting a car, I want one so bad and I'm not even sure its for the right reasons. I want to be able to see jessica when I want and my car is going downhill and I need a new one but it seems like I might want it only to say I got a new car, plus the fact that mike just got a new car which I was afraid to get one just because of that fact. And just to beat my grandparents. But I dunno maybe I'm making that shit up maybe I'm not I dunno. Everyones telling me I can't do it except for Jessica which tells me how great she is. She keeps me going when everyone is against me hell even mike said I couldn't do it. I dunno but I'm gonen get one tomorrow hopefully but its jessica's birthday tomorrow so I feel kinda shitty for getting a car on her birthday. Its like oo happy birthday I got a car!! I feel so shitty about that but this is my only shot. My only time to get a car to see jessica with. I need to take it.. I wish I could get jessica a car instead cause she needs it more than I do. Grrrrr... I wish I could get 1 feeling about something now a million. Anyway I'm going back to being bored.

wow

2005-08-28T02:47:00.000-04:00

why am I such a baby? I feel lately like I can't stand up for myself let alone anyone else. I feel like I can talk shit when they're not in front of me but when they're there I can't do shit cause I'm afraid. I hate this I hate myself. I've taken shit from people for so long that now I feel like I can't do any goddamn thing right. I feel like the biggest puss in the world. I can't even look a kid in the eyes without feeling bad. My grandfather kicks me around all the time and I take it so much its killing me. I'm scared to stand up to him and he is 74. What happened to me? I used to never take shit from people. But wait did I really? Did I get in as many fights as I believe I did? Maybe I made that shit up on my own to sound cool. Maybe I just sat there while my friends fought and imagined being there and imagined fighting. I think I need someone to just come and beat the living shit out of me and leave me in a pool of my own blood to feel good. I am such a motherfucking baby that I can't stand myself. I take and take and take and take untill I explode.

anywho..

2005-08-15T17:00:00.000-04:00

How come I get so depressed at work? How come when I get depressed I want to post in my blog? How come my posts are always depressing. I think thats all I'm becoming. Just depressed. I mean its not all the time, most of the time I'm happy. When I'm at home on the phone with jessica. Untill she gets sad or I say something or do something stupid to make her sad or mad. Its never that often but when I do its devistating. I know its not good to let 1 person determine my emotions like that but I can't help it. I kinda like it too. its nice loving and caring for someone so completly that the tone of their voice can make my day or make me cry for her. When she is sad it makes me sad, when shes happy, I couldn't be happier, when shes mad, I get more mad than I could be otherwise. I dunno I just love her so much and I want everything for her. I wish I was everything for her. Lately shes been reading to me at night and it makes me think about how lucky I am to have her. It makes me remember exactly how I felt when I met her. It makes me love her more than life itself. I can't live without her. I don't want to keep hurting her. Fuck I guess lifes not perfect but I will try to make her life as perfect as I can. But it will be a while before I can. I hate waiting.

Family?

2005-08-11T10:03:00.000-04:00

I've been noticing a growing trend lately. The trend of families who are not there for certain menmbers and not for others. It seems like families only are a "family member" to those who convenience them and when it does. Certain "Parents" making their children feel like shit and saying things that are hurtful. Other "family members" who take advantage of others when that "family member" is in a bad situation. Even if that situation is all their lives. Brothers who pick on their siblings untill its too much. Sisters who need support but get nothing from the parents and brothers who only care about themselves. Sons who have to take care of the family since birth. Daughters who completly give up on their parents when the parent take advantage too much. Brothers who give up on their sisters. "Family" is dead. There is no more "family" in this world. People say "family" is the most important thing to a person. When "family" is meaningless who is next? I know who mine is, do you? I swear on everything in this world that I will not let my wife and kids never have a "family". Even if the "family" concists of only the people in the house, I will make sure it is a "family". I don't need people who share my blood to tell me they're there for me when they really aren't. Alright its not all bad some people are really great. Others aren't. I swear people need to stop looking out for themselves and look out for what they are needed for. Being a mother, or a father, or a brother, or a sister, or even and aunt, uncle, or grandparent. Its not my family I'm even talking about completly. We all have someone though who we can't rely on but others can. I am letting go of those people. I am moving on my own. If they can't help and support me but others, Fuck em. I just wish that other "family members" can see how bad they hurt those closest to them. Especially when that person is as sweet and wonderful as she is. Its hard I know. Too bad that barely anyone who reads this will be culprets of this offence. I know I've even done it but never to someone who didn't do it to me. Like I said Fuck em. If they don't want me in the "family" they are dead to me.

ugh..

2005-08-08T17:59:00.000-04:00

Why do I always want to bitch and complain when I'm at work? I just get in such a bad mood that all I want to do is complain. I feel so shitty sometimes but I can't tell anyone because its hard for me to do that. I dunno why... Its not all the time I feel like it just once in a while. Its so hard wanting something and wishing for things to be a certain way that when they don't happen you tell yourself its for the best and things will work themselves out. But in the end you can't keep telling yourself this. It seems sometimes nothing works out the way I want them to. Things always go differently than the way I see them. I plan and try to make sure that there isn't a bit of doubt that it wouldn't happen and then something comes along that I have to deal with that I didn't plan for, things that i didn't think about. I hate when this happens every single time I plan something. I wish I could mold the world in the way i want it to be. Hell I just wish I could mold my world. If I could I wouldn't even do that much for me. Actually I wish I could mold Jessicas world. I wish sometimes that I could make her see how amazing she is. I could be with her any time she needed me. I could make her so happy that she would never cry except from joy. And I would never be able to make her unhappy with anything I said or did. I seem to do that a lot when I'm not paying attention. She says I'm perfect and that I'm so great but I dunno why sometimes. I always make bad decisions and I never say the right thing and I can never be there for her when she needs me. I feel helpless like shes hanging from a cliff and I'm in the car in the parking lot unable to open the door to get to her. I can hear her yelling for help but I am stuck in the car unable to help her. It kills me to know shes in such pain and me unable to help her. I just want to blow my brains out just so my spirit can save her. But I can't do that we hold onto the knowledge that this is only temporary. One day the door will open and I will run out to save her and I will never let her fall again. I just don't know when but one day it will happen and I will be so fucking happy that I will never need anything again. Just the knowledge that Jessica is happy and safe. I hate the fucking world and life sometimes its not fair. I just love her so much and I want the best for her. P.s. anyone who thinks they can break us apart is incredible wrong! It will never happen. We are there for eachother through everything and we can't be taken from eachother. We are together for the rest of ours and your lives.

2005-08-05T16:14:00.000-04:00

I'm just bored

2005-08-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

Everything Anyone Ever Wanted To Know About You
Created by LaBelleAmie and taken 22778 times on bzoink!
The Basic Stuff
Name?	David
Age?	18
Height?	5'9"
Weight?	dunno
Birthday?	november 18
Birthplace?	lake charles lousiana
Current Location?	glen burnie maryland
School/Grade?	aacc
Zodiac Sign?	scorpio
Chinese Zodiac Sign?	hell if i know
Righty or Lefty?	righty
Haircolor?	black, some brown
Eyecolor?	brown
Skin Color?	white
About You
What's Your Family Situation (Parents, Siblings, etc)?	mom and gparents
Any Pets?	no
If So What Are They?
Favorite Relative?	my uncle jay R.I.P.
Least Favorite Relative?	dunno
What's Your Heritage/Race?	hawaiian, german, dutch some others
Political Affilation?	none
Love & Sex
Sexuality?	i have no idea what youre asking me
Are You In A Relationship Now?	yes
If So, With Whom?	my wonderful and beautiful jessica
For How Long?	a year and about 4 months
Are You In Love?	very very very much
Do You Have A Crush On Anyone?	yes my gf
Ever Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex?	no eww
How Old Were You When You Had Your First Kiss?	17
Virgin?	pfft see if i tell you that
If Not, How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time?
Was It Enjoyable?	damn this is getting personal
What's The Farthest You've Ever Gone?	sheesh you don't stop
Where Do You Most Like To Be Kissed?	my lips jeeezzz
Best Love Quote?	can't think of one
Your Friends
Best?	mike
How Many Do You Have?	5
More Guys Or Girls?	guys
Love Them All?	noo
Any You Wish You Were Closer To?	1
Oldest?	eoin
Newest?	eoin
Pen Pal?	no
Friends And Words: Associate Them
Pen	who the hell associates someone with a fucking pen?
Flower	jessica
Pink	jessica
Window	jimmy
Heart	jessica
Mother	ashley
Bread	eoin
Insane	jimmy
Sunglasses	jimmy
Pimp	eoin
Cross	ashley
Lonely	mike
Car	mike
Music	jimmy
This Or That
Boxers or Briefs?	boxers
Thongs or G-Strings?	aren't they the same thing?
Shorts or Pants?	pants
Shoes or Barefeet?	shoes
Books or Movies?	movies
Night or Day?	day
Dark or Light?	dark
Mountains or Beach?	both
Snow or Sun?	both
Pepsi or Coke?	pepsi
Guys or Girls?	both
Swim or Surf?	both
For or Against
Gay Marriage?	its up to the people
Abortion?	same as above
Bush Getting Re-elected?	against
Suicide?	against
War?	against depending on the reason
Pants?	against when its with jessica ;) lol
Clothes In General?	same as above
Penises?	against eww gross
Favorites
Color?	green
Number?	8
Holiday?	christmas
Season?	fall
Movie?	team america
Book?	don't really have one
Magazine?	don't have one
Food?	cheeseburgers or chicken
Drink?	soda
TV Show?	family guy or fresh prince
Song?	don't have one
Band?	green day
Computer Game?	ed hunter
Video Game?	metal gear solid or resident evil
Anime/Manga?	eww
Shirt?	the one jessica has
Pants?	don't have one
Actor?	don't have one
Actress?	don't have one
Singer?	don't have one
Flower?	peony
Scent?	jessica
Animal?	chicken or girappe
Cookie?	chocolate chip
The Future
Want To Go To College?	i am in college
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?	in a band or a computer technician
Want To Get Married?	i am married
Want To Have Kids?	sure
What Would Their Names Be?	have no clue
How Many?	2 or 3
Where Do You Want To Live?	canada
Where Do You Want To Get Married?	some place with a beach
How Do You Want To Die?	in jessicas arms
More Stuff About You
Piercings?	none thinking about it tho
Tattoos?	want one
Smoke?	no
Drink?	i have
Do Drugs?	no
Skinny Dip?	no
Greatest Fear?	to lose the one person who means the world to me
Chocolate or Vanilla?	chocolate
Go To Church?	no
Religion?	don't have one
Scars?	yea
CDs Owned?	too fucking many
Collections?	comics, cds, movies, stuff with jessica
Like To Be Naked?	all the time
Ever Eaten Sushi?	no
An Entire Case Of Oreos?	case?? is that what their called now?
Been On Stage?	yea
Danced In The Rain?	yea
Kissed Someone Of The Same Sex?	no
Weirdest Dream?	can't member
Best Dream?	anything with jessica in it
Saddest Dream?	can't remember
Dream You Most Wish Would Come True?	living with jessica
Think You're Attractive?	not really
Shoplifted?	can't think of anything
Been Caught "Doing Something"?	almost
Weirdest Makeout Place?	no where was weird to makeout when its with someone you can't get enough of!
Like Thunderstorms?	yea i think they're pretty cool untill they knock out the power
Favorite Shoes?	my converse jessica got me
Favorite Quote?	can't think of one
Best Advice Given?	can't think of one
Worst Advice Given?	can't think of one
Favorite Song Lyric?	can't think of one
What Quote Says Most About Your Life?	god leave me alone this is too much
Glad This Is Over?	now i am
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lactait

2005-08-03T11:05:00.000-04:00

maonaise.. Work gives me too much time to think.. I get distracted by tb and bideo games and jessica that when I'm here I think and its not good a lot of time. I want to have a life that I control, a life where I can say I don't like something and change it. I want to have the people I care about able to say that I do good. Ugh I bitch too much. Fuck it.

So tired

2005-08-02T16:15:00.000-04:00

I am tired of everything that is possible to be tired of. I hate my job, I hate being bored, I hate helping people, I hate answering phones, I hate the people I work with. I'm starting to hate the band its all the same. I live so much farther from them and its no big deal for them to practice only living 5 minutes from eachother but I gotta be 20 minutes away. I don't understand whats wrong with me. I just can't stand playing much anymore its like a job now its not fun anymore. I fuck around just to do something new but I start fucking up the song. Uh I feel like I'm in a rut and I can't get out. The only times I feel good is when I'm on the phone with Jessica and when I'm with her. I need to be with her so badly. Fucking shit. I hate ranting too. AHHH!!

well then

2005-07-31T20:30:00.000-04:00

I just got done the longest and most exhausting week of my life. I worked everyday from 12 to 8. Yea I know its only 8 hours and I'm sitting at a fucking desk all day, but man was it long. Now I want nothing to do with the college but I have to go back tomorrow and for the rest of my life it would seem. I need to make more money. I am flat broke its so hard to get anywhere with knowing I only have 4 bucks in my damn pocket. Anywhooo, I prey that Jessica will be able to come here in september. We will be hanging out so much and going to see the white stripes. Mawb is going to be having about 2 more shows before the summer ends. Its just hard to go to practice.

New Blog

2005-07-23T10:28:00.000-04:00

THANK YOU SNOOGUMS!! she made the template for the blog and she did everything. She spent a lot of time on it and it looks great. I love her so much! thanks again

2005-07-21T19:03:00.000-04:00

The ULTIMATE About Your Girlfriend Survey
Created by slappyhappy15 and taken 32 times on bzoink!
Basics About Her
What Is Her Full Name?	Jessica Chandler
Does She Have Any Nicknames?	yes
If So, What Are They?	snoogums, snoogs
When Is Her Birthday?	september 23
Which That Would Make Her... How Old?	17
Height?	5'4"
Weight?	pfft
Describe Her Hair.	medium length curly and brown
Eye Color?	brown
Skin Tone?	dark
Piercings?	so many to count
Tattoos?	no
What Ethnicity/Race Is She?	philipino, black
What Is Her Zodiac Sign?	libra
Her Favorites
Color?	pink and red
Book?	she likes a lot of books
Movie?	dosen't really have a fav
Song?	don't really have a fav
Actress?	dosen't have a fav
Actor?	john cusack
Sport?	dosen't watch sports
Genre of Music?	rock
Athlete?	dosen't watch sports
Have You Two Ever...
Kissed?	yes
If So, What Kind of Kiss?	all kinds
Hugged?	yes
Had Sex?	wouldn't you like to know ;)
If So, How Many Times?	"
Held Hands?	yes
Fell Asleep Together?	yes
Watched a Sappy Movie Together?	some of it
Do You...
Love Her? (Be Honest)	with all of my heart
Want To Be With Her Forever?	definitly
Need Her In Your Life?	more than anything
Would You...
Fight For Her?	yes
Kill For Her?	yes
Die For Her?	yes
Hurt Her Physically?	not on purpose
How About Emotionally?	no
Cheat On Her?	hell no
Tell Her You Love Her In Front Of Your Friends?	definitly
Is She...
Nice?	very
Sweet?	so much so
Sexy?	oh yeah ;)
Hot?	hell yea
Funny?	really funny
Interesting?	yep yep
Her Family
Her Parents Names and Ages	Monte and Wilma
Any Brothers?	yes
If So, Their Names and Ages?	Milleon
Any Sisters?	no
If So, Their Names and Ages?
Religion?	christian
Step-Family?	no
Pets?	1
If So, What Kind and Their Names?	dog ronin
Does Her Family Like You?	i think
And One Final Question...
Does She Love You?	yes!
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Love

2005-07-21T18:41:00.000-04:00

how well do you know your love?
Created by PimP and taken 25 times on bzoink!
~aBoUt YoUr LoVe~~
what is your gf/bf's favorite color(s)?	pink
favorite kind of music?	rock
who is their best friend?	wendy and sabre
do they smoke?	no
do they drink?	no
would they risk their life to save yours?	yes
would you risk your life to save theirs?	yes
what is his/her favorite band(s)?	white stripes, ben kewller, saves the day
what kind of movies do they like?	horror, comedy
how often do you talk to them on the phone?	all the time
what kind of style would you say they were? (ex. skater, preppy, goth)	preppy mix with rocker
does she have a great sense of humor?	yes
do you think that you will be with her for the rest of your life?	yes
have you met her parents?	yes
if so, do they like you?	i think so
hav they met your parents?	yes
if so, do they like him/her?	yes
what is their most loveable quality?	her cuteness
what is their worst quality?	she dosen't know how great she is
would you ever cheat on them?	hell no
on a scale of 1-10 how much do u truly truly love her?	999999999999999...........
hav you ever cheated on anyone before?	no
if so, who?	i never have
do you regret it?	i never did it
if so, why?	i didn't
is your bf/gf older than you?	no
younger?	yes
would u just date for money?	no
is this the most you've ever loved anyone?	yes
have you ever been in love?	i am now!
i give both of you my hope that both of you are right for each other!
thanks for taking my survey!
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Never the same

2005-07-18T12:50:00.000-04:00

I can't take it anymore. Why do people say things just to get others to feel a certain way about them even if it makes someone else look bad. People who have been there for eachother for a long time. People think turning others against someone else is a good way to make friends. People call others names just to make a point. Life is nothing but a long line of lies and hatred. The 60's are definitly over. There is no happiness and love for others its a my feelings only count fuck yours. Nobody cares about anybody except for themselves. I am sick and tired of that, When people talk shit without even knowing the whole truth, not confronting someone about things that happened or were said. I don't understand people anymore. Why do we use our blogs or boards to get sympathy for something that we don't know the whole truth of. That is bullshit. Making assumptions about things that haven't even happened. Telling people someone was called something when that never fucking happened. People who I conted on in the past I can't trust. Happiness is a thing of the past with people like this in my life. The only thing to do is forget about these people and move on its the only way we can grow and survive. Backstabbing and clinging on to the past are not ways to do that. Thats self destruction now self improvement. The world we know is lost to a world of deceit and I can't take it. We must make our lives anew and leave the people who don't like it behind to rot. Fuck!

Work is Dull

2005-06-06T18:44:00.000-04:00

Really Long Survey (over 200)
Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 92576 times on bzoink!
What is your name?	David
Are you named after anyone?	i don't think i am
What's your screename?	MAWBassist
Would you name a child of yours after you?	no thats beat
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?	Denise
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?	John
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?	Van G l ider
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?	no
Basics
Your gender:	male
Straight/Gay/Bi:	straight
Single?	nope
If not, do you want to be?	hell no
Birthdate:	november 18
Your age:	18
Age you act:	13 sometimes
Age you wish you were:	23
Your height:	5'9 i think
Eye color:	brown
Happy with it?	yea its fine`
Hair color:	black
Happy with it?	yea its fine too
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:	righty
Your living arrangement:	my grandparents house
Your family:	Mom and G parents
Have any pets?	no
Whats your job?	Compus Information
Piercings?	no
Tattoos?	no
Obsessions?	someone would say tar wars
Addictions?	same as above but I'm addicted to her
Do you speak another language?	no unless jibberish is now a language
Have a favorite quote?	"suprise cock face"
Do you have a webpage?	yea
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?	i do most of the time
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?	yea
Do you have any secrets?	of course who dosen't
Do you hate yourself?	sometimes
Do you like your handwriting?	no its shit
Do you have any bad habits?	laziness, procrastination, forgetfullness.. the list goes on
What is the compliment you get from most people?	I dunno
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?	Why would a movie be made of my life?
What's your biggest fear?	To be a failure
Can you sing?	I try
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?	no
Are you a loner?	sometimes
What are your #1 priorities in life?	Jessica and MAWB
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?	maybe
Are you a daredevil?	not really
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?	my mind
Are you passive or agressive?	passive
Do you have a journal?	online
What is your greatest strength and weakness?	i have no idea
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?	To be smarter and more outgoing
Do you think you are emotionally strong?	no
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?	no
Do you think life has been good so far?	meh it has its ups and downs
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?	Never plan for anythng
What do you like the most about your body?	my eyes? i dunno
And least?	everything else
Do you think you are good looking?	no
Are you confident?	no
What is the fictional character you are most like?	i have no idea
Are you perceived wrongly?	i dunno
Do You...
Smoke?	no
Do drugs?	no
Read the newspaper?	no
Pray?	no
Go to church?	no
Talk to strangers who IM you?	yes
Sleep with stuffed animals?	no
Take walks in the rain?	sometimes
Talk to people even though you hate them?	yes
Drive?	yes
Like to drive fast?	yes
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?	yea its fine
Hurt yourself?	no
Been out of the country?	i want to
Eaten something that made other people sick?	yes
Been in love?	i am!
Done drugs?	yes
Gone skinny dipping?	no
Had a medical emergency?	yes
Had surgery?	yes
Ran away from home?	no
Played strip poker?	no
Gotten beaten up?	yes
Beaten someone up?	yes
Been picked on?	yes
Been on stage?	yes
Slept outdoors?	yes
Thought about suicide?	yes
Pulled an all nighter?	yes
If yes, what is your record?	just 1 night
Gone one day without food?	yes
Talked on the phone all night?	yes
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?	yes
Slept all day?	no
Killed someone?	no
Made out with a stranger?	no
Had sex with a stranger?	no
Thought you're going crazy?	yes
Kissed the same sex?	no
Done anything sexual with the same sex?	no
Been betrayed?	no
Had a dream that came true?	yes
Broken the law?	small ones
Met a famous person?	no
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?	probably
On purpose?	no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?	no
Stolen anything?	no
Been on radio/tv?	no
Been in a mosh-pit?	yes
Had a nervous breakdown?	no
Bungee jumped?	i want to
Had a dream that kept coming back?	no
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?	yea
Miracles?	yea
Astrology?	no
Magic?	no
God?	yea
Satan?	yea
Santa?	no
Ghosts?	yea
Luck?	yea
Love at first sight?	yea
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?	yea
Witches?	no
Easter bunny?	no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?	yea
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?	no fucking lepricahn
Do you wish on stars?	no
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?	no
Do you think God has a gender?	maybe
Do you believe in organized religion?	no
Where do you think we go when we die?	i hope heaven
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?	no
Who is your best friend?	mike
Who's the one person that knows most about you?	jessica
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?	i don't remember
Your favourite inside joke?	PDA
Thing you're picked on most about?	my weight
Who's your longest known friend?	Steve
Newest?	Eoin
Shyest?	Ashley
Funniest?	Mike
Sweetest?	Jessica
Closest?	Jessica
Weirdest?	Jimmy
Smartest?	Ashley
Ditziest?	Jimmy
Friends you miss being close to the most?	none
Last person you talked to online?	Jessica
Who do you talk to most online?	Eoin
Who are you on the phone with most?	Jessica
Who do you trust most?	Jessica
Who listens to your problems?	Jessica
Who do you fight most with?	none
Who's the nicest?	Jessica
Who's the most outgoing?	Mike
Who's the best singer?	Mike
Who's on your shit-list?	none
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?	no
Who's your second family?	mikes
Do you always feel understood?	no
Who's the loudest friend?	jimmy
Do you trust others easily?	yea
Who's house were you last at?	mine
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:	jessica
Do your friends know you?	some
Friend that lives farthest away:	jessica
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?	no
What do you find romantic?	nice dinner and sitting by a fire holding the one you love
Turn-on?	jessica and anything she does
Turn-off?	work
First kiss?	jessica
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?	scared
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going	yes
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out	yes
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv	no
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?	no but 1 does
What is best about the opposite sex?	their looks
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?	how bitchy some are
What's the last present someone gave you?	a coffee cup and a candle
Are you in love?	yes
Do you consider your significant other hot?	oh hell yea
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?	no one
You wanted to kill?	my mom
That you laughed at?	can't remember
That laughed at you?	jessica
That turned you on?	jessica
You went shopping with?	mike
That broke your heart?	no one
To disappoint you?	can't remember
To ask you out?	no one
To make you cry?	can't remember
To brighten up your day?	jessica
That you thought about?	jessica
You saw a movie with?	mike and eoin
You talked to on the phone?	jessica
You talked to through IM/ICQ?	jessica
You saw?	some dude that walked by me
You lost?	can't remember
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?	yes
Will it be with your significant other?	yes
Or some random person?	no
What are you wearing right now?	my work shirt and blue jeans
Body part you're touching right now:	my nose
What are you worried about right now?	nothing
What book are you reading?	nothing
What's on your mousepad?	dell
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:	tired, sad, bored, lonely, bored
Are you bored?	yes
Are you tired?	yess
Are you talking to anyone online?	no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?	no
Are you lonely or content?	lonely
Are you listening to music?	no
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

Eat shit and die

2005-04-27T19:00:00.000-04:00

fuckers

I hate my home

2005-04-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

Maryland sucks ass. I realize this when I came home from Jessica's house. I hate being here, its the worst thing for me to be here. I am so alone here even when I'm with people and the only person who makes me feel better and whole, and wanted lives a million miles away. I need to be with her.. I physically and emotionally need to see her eyes. I need to move out and find a place of my own so we can be together every single day. I envy mike because he lives with his gf. They can see eachother and when he moves he says it's going to be hard on him. But what about when you never can be with that person. Only seeing her once every few months. I would give anything to be able to wake up and see her every single morning and close my eyes with her vision lingering from the moment before I closed my eyes. I'd give anything to hold her every single moment she was ever sad or scared, or angry, or happy. I'd give anything to kiss her every time I needed to feel her lips. I'd give anything to be with her every day. I will never be truly happy untill I can. The only times I am happy now is when I am with her. Being in mass made me so happy and I felt like nothing could be wrong. Now that I'm home I feel like somebody just shot me in the leg and now I have to struggle day to day to do anything. Not a second goes by anymore when shes not in my thoughts. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and when its all over my life will be complete because the missing piece of me will be there holding on untill the end. With me working now I lose 5 hours with her and so I talk even less to her. All I want in life is to be with her and for her to be as happy as she can be. My heart has been marked by her and it will never heal. But it only bothers me when I can't be around her. My heart bleeds and only can be bandaged by her kiss. I miss her so fucking badly I could scream, only 2 months left.

Wanting to go

2005-03-13T14:14:00.000-05:00

Friday I will be leaving home for over a week to be with Jessica. I can't wait, I am so happy that I get to see her. Tomorrow I have work for the first time since june. thats over 9 months. Wow I could have had a baby. Band practice went great I love playing with the band. Its just hard sometimes to get away.

11

2005-03-09T20:33:00.000-05:00

Today me and jessica have been together for 11 months which is so wonderful :) I love her so much. I can't believe I found the one person who I can spend my whole life with, and only when I'm 18. I was at band practice today and mikes gf was there and it made me so sad because of how badly I miss jessica. I want to be with her so badly. I wan't her to be so happy.. thats all I want in this world is for her to be happy. I got a job today, I work at my schools information desk. It sounds easy I hope I will do good. I need money to see the woman I love.

the days that run long

2005-03-05T20:13:00.000-05:00

Nothing is really going on anymore. Since Jessica left this feeling of loss has appeared again that wasn't there last week. I know that feeling is Jessica not being here and me missing her so badly. I rented saw lastnight and I have to say that was a pretty good movie. It seems that movies that a lot of people didn't like I did (ie. Van Helsing). I think I might get a bad grade for the first half of my algebra class. So many flukes its not funny. Mikes coming tomorrow so we might have a show soon I dunno. I really miss jessica I could cry.

my mind pisses me off

2005-02-25T22:38:00.000-05:00

I just called Jessica to talk to her but when I found out she was with her friends I got shy and stopped talking. It happened before but I didn't think about it but now I understand why. My dad reminds me everyonce in a while that I should let her be with her friends and if I don't they might get mad and then she eventually won't have any friends here and won't have a place to stay. When I called her and found out her friends were there I got scared and shy and I realized its because I'm afraid of keeping her from her friends and them getting mad. I know its stupid that they would be mad for her being on the phone but it still is in the back of my mind and I know how important friends are and I don't want to make them mad and shit. And it kept going into the back of my mind when I was with her that her friends might be mad that shes with me and not them or something and I want to be with her, but I know how much her friends mean to her and according to my dad and aunt leslie they might not want to be friends because of me basically. It scares me to think that because of me she would lose her friends. I know it couldn't happen but it makes me nervous and tomorrow we might be hanging out with her friends and I know I'm gonna be just standing around scared to be around her.. I'm such a fucking baby.. I need to grow the fuck up sometimes.

whatever

2005-02-24T16:22:00.000-05:00

It's All About You (LoNg)
Created by cancerofpassion and taken 24 times on bzoink!
Name:	David
Age:	18
Gender:	Male
Gay/Straight/Bi:	straight
Date of Birth:	november 18
Height:	5'9" i think
Weight:	i dunno
Eye color:	brown
Hair color:	black
Nationality:	american
Location:	maryland
Nickname(s):	pookie
Piercings:	none
Are you named after anyone:	no
Single or Taken?	taken
Age you wish you were:	23
Pets:	no
Lefty/Righty/Both:	righty
Siblings:	no
Favorites:
Color:	green and black
Number:	8
Day:	saturday
Game:	i have a lot
Band:	green day
Song:	too many
Food:	cheeseburgers or sandwiches
Drink:	soda
Cartoon:	family guy
Anime:	none ew
TV Show:	too many
Channel:	nickelodeon
Movie:	too many
Actor:	don't have one
Actress:	dont have one
Brand:	dunno
Shoe type:	sneekers
Car:	any
Animal:	chicken
Teacher:	don't have any
Hobby:	playing music
Sport:	hockey
Word:	huh?
Genre:	rock
Radio Station:	don't have one
Candy:	anything that has a fruit taste
Class:	don't have one
Place to hang:	any where
Vacation spot:	dunno
Poet:	none
Author:	none
Book:	none
Holiday:	christmas
Male name:	joe
Female name:	jessica
Quote:	"I have a metal spoon, its made of metal and its a spoon"
Website:	none
Instrument:	bass
Subject:	none
Mythical Creature:	none
This or That
Coke or Pepsi:	pepsi
Rain or sun:	sun
Hot or cold:	cold
Pink or purple:	purple
Single or taken:	taken
Bush or Kerry:	neither
Anime or cartoons:	cartoons
Soccer or footbal:	football
LJ or xanga:	xanga
AFI or Green Day:	both!
Eminem or 50 cent:	neither
Girls or guys:	dunno
Ass or donkey:	donkey
Middle school or high school:	middle
Video or dvd:	dvd
Give or receive:	give
Computer or laptop:	computer
Older or younger:	dunno
Chocolate or vanilla:	chocolate
Punk or prep:	punk
NORMAL HUMAN BEING or prep:	normal
Private or public school:	public
Warner Bros or Walt Disney:	dunno
Short or tall:	both
Christmas or birthday:	birthday
Hottopic or Spencers:	both
Napolean or Pedro:	both
Kip or Uncle Rico:	kip
Deb or Summer:	summer
I know what you're talking about or What the hell are you saying:	i know what you're talking about
Summer or winter:	summer
Spring or fall:	fall
Email or IM:	IM
Lipstick or Lipgloss (lol guys can put chapstick or sumfink..):	chapstick
Sweet or sour:	both
Destiny or choice:	both
Daria or Degrassi:	Degrassi because jessica likes it
GvB or O'Grady:	wtf?
Silver or gold:	gold
Love or Lust:	love
Now or Later:	now
Wristband or bracelet:	wristband
Choker or necklace:	necklace
Happy or Sad:	happy
Blonde or brunette:	brunette
Inside or outside:	both
Mom or dad:	dad
Work or school:	work
Long hair or short hair:	long for girls short for guys
Freak or nerd:	freak
Truth or dare:	truth
Girlfriend or boyfriend:	girlfriend
Beginning or end:	beginning
Dentist or doctor:	doctor
Do you..
Smoke:	no
Do drugs:	no
Drink:	sometimes
Do your own laundry:	no
Love someone:	yes very much
Drive:	yes
Cook:	sometimes
Know everything about your friends:	i dunno
Know all 50 states:	no
Know how to tie your shoes:	yes
Know how to drive:	yes
Have a gf or bf:	yes
Like scary movies:	yes
Like to dance:	dunno
Like to read:	no
Like to write:	yes
Like to draw:	no
Watch anime very often:	no
Know how to speak Japanese:	no
Know how to speak something other than English:	no
Believe in God:	yes
Believe in love at first sight:	yes
Believe in ghosts:	yes
Believe in life after death:	yes
Like your school:	no
Eat more than 3 times a day:	sometimes
Like piggies:	yes
Like Invader Zim:	yes
Think cows rock:	yes
Have you ever..
Laughed so hard milk came out of your nose:	no but soda
Laughed so hard you couldnt breathe for more than 60 seconds:	no
Tasted alchohol:	yes
Driven a car:	yes
Fallen asleep on a 5 minute drive to the grocery store:	yes
Told a secret you swore you wouldnt tell:	dunno
Told a lie:	yes
Spread a rumor:	no
Kissed someone other than family:	yes
Cried in front of everyone:	yes
Had a crush on someone older than you:	yes
Younger than you:	yes
Been asked out:	no
Gone on a date:	yes
Had to do something gross as a dare? What was it:	no
Danced in the rain:	no
Sang in the shower:	yes
Gotten high:	yes
Sniffed sharpies, white out, nail poish remover, etc:	yes
Gone in public with your PJ's	no
Gone into a chatroom with strangers:	no
Prank called where it actually worked:	no
Egged a house:	no
Annoyed your neighbors:	no
Been out of the country:	no
Been to a concert:	yes
Been in a play:	yes
Been to a wedding as the ring barer, flower girl, bridesmaid, etc:	no
Been shitted on by an ickle birdie:	yes
Been in a police car:	no but came close
Cut your own hair:	no
Gotten your tongue stuck to an ice cube:	no
Fallen asleep in class:	yes
Eaten pet food:	yes
Locked yourself out of your house:	no
Had surgery:	yes
Forgotten your birthday:	no
Laughed at nothing:	yes
Made a snowman taller than youself:	no
Cheated on a test:	yes
Stared at the fireplace for hours:	no
Tried to be someone you're not:	yes
Eaten something alive:	no
Had a sad dream and woke up crying:	yes
Repeated a grade:	no
Forgotten your phone number:	my cell phone
Wanted to kill someone, literally:	yes
Random
Do you see dead people:	no
Do you see stupid people:	yes
Have you seen Napolean Dynamite:	yes
If so, did you like it:	yes
Do walls talk to you:	no
What do you want to do when you grow up:	i dunno
Do you like AFI:	yes
If not, you suck. If so, rawk on ^__^ :	hell yea
Do you like to read Harry Potter:	no
Right now...What are you...
Doing:	listening to MCR
Eating:	nothing
Drinking:	nothing
Wearing:	t shirt and shorts
Watching:	nothing
Listening to:	My chemical romance
Thinking:	i miss jessica and i hope shes having fun
Looking at:	the monitor
What/When was the last time/thing you...
Ate:	a ham and cheese sandwich
Slept:	last night
Watched tv:	when i woke up
Drank:	root beer
Went swimming:	last summer
Went skiing:	never
Ran:	earlier this week
Hugged someone :	yesterday
Kissed someone:	yesterday
Who was the last person you...
IMed:	jessica
Called:	sean
Talked to:	jessica
Hugged:	jessica
Kissed:	jessica
Wanted to strangle:	everyone in my house
Wanted to kill:	everyone in my house
Wanted to talk to:	jessica
Hit:	dunno
Laughed at:	dunno
Cried with:	jessica
About this survey:
Did you like it:	its ok
Was it too long:	no
I'm tired:	ok
I've been up since 5 AM...:	thats cool
What time did you get up..:	10:40 something
I'm going to bed now, thanks for taking this long survey...:	ok
Have fun with life:	thanks
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

The 2nd best week of my life

2005-02-23T12:04:00.000-05:00

I got to see Jessica 2 days in a row and she's coming over soon so 3 days in a row which is awersome!! Monday we hung out with my mom and dad and went to the mall then she came over and we watched napoleon dynamite and played video games. Then yesterday she came over and we watched part of the notebook and we watched some fresh prince. My dad and grandfather both asked when we're getting married which makes me want to get married right now. I love being with her shes so wonderful. Me and Ashley are closer that we used to be which is awesome For a while I thought ashley didn't want to be friends anymore with me because we barely talked and stuff. But now we talk and joke just like the old days which is so great. Shes the best cousin anybody could have. I have the 2 greatest girl in my life my girlfriend and my cousin. And them both being best friends make it so great too because we all can hang out and just watch movies and stuff being the best of friends. I love them both.

goodbye to you at this time

2005-02-19T18:16:00.000-05:00

I got back from my trip to bowie, On thursday I went to my grandmothers funeral which was so nice I know she would have loved it. Its sad that I can't cry about funerals like I saw a lot of people doing I was sitting there thinking why am I not crying about this.. I should be just as bad as basically everybody else. I guess I just know its not the end and shes in a better place. I dunno.. Ashley and Elizabeth gave beautiful speaches. They did so good. After we went back to Ashleys and sat around and visited with people who I haven't seen in years. I'm gonna miss grandma deeply but life goes on I guess. Anywho yesterday I went to the airport to get Jessica, it took me awhile to get a space but I found one on the roof so I went into the place and went to baggage claim and looked at the monitors untill it told me where her bags would be. So I waited and waited and I walked around looking and I stood behind someone and I looked and it looked like her so I walked around this metal rail to see and it was her so I ran up behind her and stuff and she is so beautiful its scary not bad scary but good... i dunno. We went to Arundel mills and walked around for a long time and stuff. We saw hitch which lasted longer than I expected and so we still had to go eat and we went to double t diner and I didn't think about anyone else waiting for us. I decided to stay at Ashleys for the night and Jessica met my dad. I took her to Samanthas with her mom being mad because of us being late. I came back and my dad and aunt leslie lectured me and she said that this is why Ashley and her had a "falling out" with Jessica and that if I keep doing that Jessica won't have any friends and it almost made me cry because I began feeling like I was gonna ruin her life and that her friends wouldn't want to be her friend because of me being stupid and shit. Typing that is making me cry.. anyway today we picked up grandmas remains and then me and ashley went to get chinee foo and get jessica and samantha and samantha got a headache and wanted to go home (hope you feel better samantha, and I'm so sorry for bringing her so late). so we got matt and went back. I hope I see her a lot and its hard not talking to her while being home but its worth it and if I can't see her as much as I want I hope she has a good time here with her friends.

Omg this took forever

2005-02-09T21:15:00.000-05:00

Ultimate Survey (377 questions long)
Created by illusen and taken 17410 times on bzoink!
time started	8:31
full name	David Van Gilder
nickname(s)	Pookie
birthday	november 18
where were you born	Lousiana
zodiac sign	scorpio
height	5'9" I think
weight	i dunno
hair color	black
eye color	brown
shoe size	11
ring size	i dunno
skin type (freckles, tan, albino, etc.)	tan
blood type	dunno
grade	college/ 13th
GPA	3.0 thats right
siblings	none
tattoos	none
piercings	none
hobbies	playing bass
favorite
color	green and black
food	cheeseburgers
candy	anything thats fruit flavored
type of cheese	nacho
pizza topping	pepperoni or extra cheese
salad dressing	french or italian
sandwich	any
cereal	any
fruit	i like a lot of fruit
vegetable	tomatos?
berry	strawbree
cake	chocolate
book	don't have one
movie	don't have one
magazine	daily bread or musicians friend
newspaper	don't read
tv show	family guy or kids in the hall
website	www.mawbrock.com (oh yea senseless promotion)
radio station	dc 101
font	comic sans
cartoon character	hmm i dunno
artist (painter)	ones who paint good?
actor	don't have one
actress	don't have one
cd	i love too many to pick
song	i love too many to pick
music group	green day
music type	rock and punk
day of the week	saturday
month	april :)
season	fall
holiday	christmas
shampoo	pert
conditioner	pert
number	8
phrase	do what to the what now?
store	best buy
weather	clear with a few clouds
restaurant	dunno
channel	nickelodeon
teacher	don't have one
weekend activity	talking to jessica
hangout	my room
house color	dunno
sport to watch	hockey
sport to play	hockey
animal	chicken or monkey
flower	peony
guy's name	mortimer
girl's name	jessica (ha you saw that coming)
board game	dunno
party game	drinking lol jp
story from childhood	dunno too many
body part	pinky because it makes jessica laugh
have you ever
been on a train	yes
been on a plane	yes
been in a car accident	yes
caused a car accident	yes
run into a wall	yes
burned a potato chip	no but ate one
almost burned the house down	yes but it was small cause it was a napkin
smoked	yes
been drunk	yes
been high	yes
broken the law	yes
burned a cd (if yes, the one above is yes)	yes
kissed someone of the opposite sex	yes
kissed someone of the same sex	no
frenched an animal	ew no
made out	yes
had cyber sex	no
gotten engaged	yes uh i mean no
had an online relationship	yes
been rejected by a crush	yes
loved	yes
made yourself cry to get out of trouble	no
cried in public	yes
cried over a movie	yes
fallen asleep in a movie theater	yes
given someone a bath	no
been to a boarding school	no
been home-schooled	no
lost a valuable item	maybe
bungee jumped	no
skied	no
met the president	no
met a celebrity	no
gotten a cavity	yes
shopped at abercrombie & fitch	no
made a prank call	yes
skipped school	yes
faked sick to get out of school	yes
purchased something that you knew didn't fit	no
climbed a tree	no but tried
fallen from a tree	yes trying
broken a bone	no
sprained anything	yes
passed out	yes
made yourself pass out	no
been to disney world	no
been to a theme park (not disney)	yes
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative)	yes
made a model volcano (working model)	no
made a clover leaf with your tounge	no
past
what did you do yesterday	layed around my room and watched tv till jessica came home
memory you miss the most	being with jessica
memory you want to forget	middle school
something you regretted after it was done	dunno
the last
song you heard	from the heart- hoobastank
cd you bought	in love and death- the used
thing you said	hm
time you cried	earlier today but just a little
movie seen in a theater	team america
thing you ate	a cookie
person who called	jessica
nail polish shade worn	pink, shut up i was dared to
time you showered	this morning
person who complimented you	jessica
at this moment
what are you listening to	hoobastank
what are you wearing	t shirt and jeans
what are you thinking	i'm tired
what are you scared of most	losing jessica
how many people are on your buddy list	26
future
occupation	dunno
marriage site	dunno
honeymoon	hawaii?
place to live	anywhere
kids	sure
car	anything that runs
what are you doing tomorrow	going to school and coming home to talk to jessica
do you think george bush will be reelected	he was
will there be a wwIII	maybe?
will politics ever be truthful	probably not
will humanity snuff itself out	snuff?
can the gov. be changed	no, seriously i don't think about the future too much
friends
best friend	Mike and Jessica
funniest	Mike
silliest	Eoin
loudest	Jim
quietest	Ashley
craziest	Mike
calmest	John b.
skinniest	Sean
best secret keeper	Mike
worst secret keeper	Jim
the one you have but don't want	none
smartest	Ashley
preppiest	None
peppiest	None
most hyper	Sean
hottest	none except for my gf
weirdest	Eoin
biggest pervert	Eoin
most annyoing	Jim
shyest	Ashley
most religious	Ashley
do you believe in
heaven	yes
hell	yes
angels	yes
devil	yes
god	yes
buddha	oo the tummy!
aliens	yes
ghosts	yes
spirit (soul)	yes
soulmates	yes
reincarnation	maybe?
love at first sight	yes
karma	maybe?
love in general	yes
luck	yes
yourself	maybe?
crush
who and when was your first crush	I dunno I think Katie from Elementary
any now	My girlfriend
a celebrity crush	Jessica Alba haha jp
who do you want to be with right now	JESSICA JESSICA JESSICA!!
whos number do you want	none
who do you want to kiss	jessica!
what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex	why some are so stupid
if you could go on a date with anybody, who would it be	jessica
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you	7
first thing noticed about the opposite sex	their eyes
what do you look for personality-wise	smart, funny, nice, sweet
biggest turn on	jessica hehe
biggest turn off	bigfoot?
something thay weat that turns you on	i dunno?
something they wear that turns you off	clown shoes
the most romantic thing you want to happen to you	jessica to suprise me one day with dinner and whatever else
the most romantic thing that has happened to you	every moment i'm with jessica
what do you wear on a coffee date	coffee date? hmm.. a bib?
is it right to flirt if you're taken	no
is cyber cheating	yes
are eyes the passegeway to the soul	maybe?
who would you like to take to the prom	jessica
do you want to hug somebody right now	jessica
do you know what an aphrodisiac is	no
describe
mellow	just taking things as they come
melancholy	being really relaxed
the perfect date	being with jessica
the perfect mate	jessica
how m&m's are made	chocolate and color stuff?
why manhole covers are round	so fat people can get in them
one or the other
coke/pepsi	pepsi
sprite/7-up	sprite
boxers/briefs	boxers
gold/silver	gold
vanilla/chocolate	chocolate
flowers/candy	flowers
book/magazine	magazine
tv/radio	tv
glass half empty/half full	half full
democrat/republican	neither
colored pencils/markers	markers
coffee/tea	coffee
sun/moon	moon
day/night	night
hot/cold	cold
dog/cat	dog
button/zipper	zipper
cotton/feather pillow	cotton
blue/purple	blue
plumber/trashman	ew neither
jeans/shorts	jeans
long distance relationship/none	long distance
mechanical/regular pencil	regular
matt/ben	Matt Damon! (youd need to see team america to get that)
that 70's show/simpsons	simpsons
kelso/eric	kelso
donna/jackie	donna
bart/lisa	bart
romeo/juliet	romeo
romantic comedy/thriller	thriller
nsync/bsb	neither
peanut butter/jelly	both
waffles/pancakes	pancakes
letter/email	letter
florida/california	cali
pizza/burgers	burgers
hat/visor	hat
football/rugby	football
iceskating/blading	blading
movie at home/in theater	theater
first thing you think of when you hear
yellow	bird
red lipstick	glass
socks	pink and kewt lol
cowtipping	moo
moulin rouge	sluts
greenland	ice
iceland	grass
harry potter	loser
red	white
blackberry	brees
rose	flower
rooster	chicken!
taxes	taxis oo
bill clinton	pimp
whipped cream	hot chocolate
george w. bush	monkey
lollipops	licks
dreams	clouds
love	jessica
guys	dumb
south park	funny
boy bands	gross
pengiuns	poop
girls	silly
thong	hot
death	robe
spoons	metal
junk mail	e mail
dairy	secret
panties	mm jessica
your father	fun
pizza	triangle
britney spears	slut!
vitamin	b
are you
happy	yes
sad	sometimes
religious	no
bitchy	sometimes
crazy	ocasionally
messy	yes
mad	no
slacker	yes
nerd	no
bookworm	no
jock	no
preppy	no
selfish	no
giving	i try
obsessive	on something
violent	when i'm really mad
calm	most of the time
peaceful	usually
mellow	usually
eccentric	no
caring	yes
untrustworthy	no
loyal	i try
patriotic	no
perverted	sometime
colorful	no
artistic	maybe?
miscellanoues
what color is your jacket	brown
do you shave	yes
where	my face
what color is your razor	grey
what size is your bed	twin
what color crayon would you be	green
what are the last four digits of you phone number	4773
feelings on abortion	it sucks
how lond does it take you to shower	5 minutes
what does your screenname mean	that i played bass for deliverme
thoughts on blonde pop stars in general	gross
who so you trust the most	jessica
is cussing a necessity in life	sometime
how about coffee	sometimes
is the world screwed	sometimes
what something you cant live without	jessica
what time did you fall asleep	like 11:34
know what 69 means	numbers?
how about 143	more numbers?
can you live without a microwave	yes
what do think about death	its a drag
where and when do you want to be married	whenever
do you want to drop out of school	no
why is the sky blue	cause it is
what is a good trait about yourself	i'm caring
what do you always think about	jessica
what is wrong with your school	too many people
what is right with your school	teachers actually teach
how do you react to change	i dunno
do you talk to yourself	sometimes
what is your opinion on love	its great
can you afford to lose weight	yes
what color would you dye your hair	green or blue probably
best thing anyones told you	that she wants to be with me forever
what is your reaction to someone telling you you're hot	naw
does being psycho appeal to you	no but its funny
if you wrote a book, what would it be about	monkeys who poo in the woods
what would you change your name to	i dunno
longest crush lasted how long	i dunno its still going
tme finished	9:05
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No titles to display

2005-02-09T16:47:00.000-05:00

Its so hard to stay awake lately in class, for the past 2 days I have been sitting in class almost falling asleep. This is the first time since I've been going to college that I almost fell asleep which is weird because I almost slept in every class last year lol. I took a nap when I came home so hopefully that will help. Next friday seems so far away, 9 days seems like an eternity when waiting for something you've wanted for half a year. Speaking of her today is mine and Jessicas 10 month anniversary which is so awesome. Its so great being her boyfriend. Everyday I talk to her is amazing shes so wonderful. I truly feel we were ment for eachother and she mentioned something that I agree with but didn't notice untill she told me. She said that we've become closer since the summer and that we know eachother so much better than we would have if we lived closer. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful person in my life and I love her so much. This dude on mtvs room raiders (Jessicas influence to get me watching it too lol) looks like the singer from hoobastank and so I automatically needed to listen to them and it sucks because they make me think about jessica even more because 1)the reason I wanted to buy the cd was because one of the songs made me think about her and 2)I bought the cd when I saw her last april. I miss her so fucking much. Friday is gonna be so great to see her again. grr 9 days... so far away. I will just have to try not to think about it and concontrate on today till I see her.

Over the sides

2005-02-06T11:23:00.000-05:00

I never seem to have much to write in here anymore other than about jessica and how much she means to me. I love writing about her so much but I can't just have a post about her I have to like seperate the post into two, 1 for stuff going on and things I'm feeling then 2 stuff about jessica. I am already not liking school, its so annoying to go there everymorning being scared that my car won't make it. My dad is coming next week which will be cool since I haven't seen him since my graduation. I had such a hard time breathing last night before I went to bed I had to get a drink to try to help it and that didn't work so when jessica went to sleep I layed there and tried to relax but it was hard to. I ended up going to the kitchen and using my inhaler that I haven't used in like 3 years. I'm getting scared that I'm getting asthma back and I don't want that. But I'm so stubborn that I will do everything I usually do and just go through it even if its hard to breathe. Fucking lungs lol. Anyway Jessica is gonna be here in less than 2 weeks!!! "I am so excited I can hardly contain myself" ha I love my ren and stimpy dvd lol anyway I can't wait to see her its gonna be so great because she is so great and the love of my life :) I will be with her for the rest of my life and its so nice knowing that I found the one at only 18 I am so lucky to have her and to have everything she is and everything she does for me.

Waiting

2005-01-28T18:55:00.000-05:00

The days to months that go by hold a place in my heart for all time. The world which once seemed so cold opened up with the movement of your lips. The arms around me that belong to someone who has the biggest heart. The days that seemed to drag to no end sped up with anticipation. Only the kiss so tender that opened my soul which at that instant flew into your heart. My eyes burned with the beauty that they held in yours. The feeling of the touch of your hand on mine lingers making it feel content. I would cross deserts just to catch a glance from your love at me. So many days passed since I last felt your breath on my neck, the touch of you lips, the beat of your heart. It takes hold at times of lonleyness untill I hear the voice of my beloved. Changes have gone in my life that would have been disasterous without your help. To feel you in my arms is what I live for and the knowlege we will be together for the rest of our lives. I live for you, to do everything I can to make your life as good as I can. The beat of my heart screams your name. My soul burns with your love. To feel it everysingle day will make me complete. I can't wait to see you again and to be wrapped in your embrace.

grr not again

2005-01-18T13:37:00.000-05:00

I just went out to the kitchen to get some food, and I saw my grandma and my mom talking and when they saw me they turned toward me and my grandma says "we were talking about you". She told me that my mom told her about lastnight when I got mad when she told me that my grandma wanted me to get a job at double t diner. And my mom kept saying how shes not the only one who feels that I'm getting mad at them. How would that make you feel? I felt like they were ganging up on me and with my mom repeating it over and over I just stoped talking to them because its all I can do. I just stood in a corner and didn't say a word and my grandma knew I was mad so she asked whats wrong and I told her nothing because I never like telling people whats wrong. (ok not never because theres one person who I can't not tell whats wrong when something is and that person knows who they are.) Anyway my grandma and me talked it out when my mom went outside and hopefully things will be different and for just piece of mind I wasn't mad at either of them. Untill they ganged up on me.

Breakfast of angar

2005-01-15T12:47:00.000-05:00

My mom is such a pain in the ass.. I know that sounds harsh but this morning my grandma was showing me how to make scrambled eggs because I never made them before, so my grandma was freaking out and was yelling at me to flip them and my mom came in and asked me if I was putting cheese in it and I said yes I am mom! and she got all pissy and was like sorry for bothering you! and she went to her room and I could hear her bitching about me to my grandma when she went back there. She just pisses me off on a regular basis I can't stand it anymore I never can get angry about anything without her getting pissy and I can't say anything or else she might try to kill herself again.. its just so fucking stressful I can't even look at her anymore without getting angry. I sound like an asshole so I'm just gonna shut up.

Show of our lives

2005-01-10T15:04:00.000-05:00

Saturday MAWB was live in Eoins basement, It was a great show with so many people there to hear us. There were even some people who didn't know us that wanted to buy cds. I can't wait to do that again it was awesome except for mikes mishap where he broke 2 strings during the show and began bleeding but it was still cool. I missed jessica a lot tho.. I couldn't wait to talk to her again. anyway the next show will be even better than the first be sure of it.

Away from your mind

2005-01-05T21:11:00.000-05:00

Again its been awhile because I can never think of things to post about. Anyway all last week and this week me and the band have been practicing almost everyday because on saturday we will be having our first show. It sucks tho because with each practice the more I don't want to be there, its not as fun as it used to be. I miss jessica so much while there and all I want is to be home talking to her. I got a new phone because mine kept disconnecting on me and this one is cool because its smaller and had caller id on it lol. Everyday I feel a need to be in jessicas arms I miss it so badly.. Anyway I'll try to post more than usual if I can find stuff to post aboot.

2005-01-01T17:24:00.000-05:00

Everything About You Survey
Created by Crimsontear and taken 8169 times on bzoink!
Personal Information
First Name//	David
Age//	18 or to someone 20
Gender//	male
Nickname(s)//	pookie
Hair Color//	black
Hair Style//	i dunno.. parted in the middle?
Eye Color//	brown
What is your favorite
Color//	green
Game//	metal gear solid or gta
Song//	don't have one
Music Video//	don't have one
Animal//	chicken
Sport//	hockey or rollerblading
Country//	canada lol
Movie//	don't have one
Food//	hamburgers or chicken sandwiches
Friends
Best//	mike
Funniest//	eoin
Coolest//	mike
Sweetest//	tara
Kindest//	tara
Annoyingest//	eoin
Dullest//	none
Stupidest//	jim
Most Intelligent//	ashley
Athletic//	mike
Relationships
Boy(Girl)friend//	jessica
Are you in love right now//	yes
Do you have a crush//	on my girlfriend
Do you have a stalker//	if i do they're really good at being secretive
Do you miss someone right now//	yes i miss jessica..
What do you do
At school//	learn?
At home//	talk on the phone and watch tv
Outside//	a lot of stuff?
When you first wake up//	go potty lol
What _____do you hate
Food//	asparagus
Color//	none colors rock
Hair color//	polka dot
Tv show//	nascar
Clothing style//	really slutty clothes
Movie//	my dog skip
Emotions Right Now
Are You Happy Right Now//	yes
Sad//	no
Grumpy//	no
Annoyed//	no
Angry//	no
Sick//	a little
Lonely//	a little
Bored//	no
Have you ever
Made your own religion//	no
Written backwards//	yes
Written your own magazine//	no
Drawn art//	yes
Got angry with a game//	all time
Played Lacrosse//	no
Broken a bone//	no
Dyed your hair//	no
Put in contacts for no reason//	no
Swam alone//	yes
Things that come to mind when you read...
Intelligentence//	confusing
Stupidity//	lobster
Depress//	dress
Blood//	wound
Blue//	brees
Gray//	blob
Sword//	in the stone
Golf//	caddy
Soccer//	england
Yellow//	bird
Socks//	shoe
Ribbon//	christmas
Random Questions
Play Sports, if so, what ones//	soccer and baseball
Have a lot of friends//	not a lot
Write good//	nope
Eat a lot//	not a lot
Like the day Friday//	hell yea
Like the month December//	yea its pretty sweet
Do you(or are you)
(DY)Give good advice//	i try to
(DY)Talk crap//	not unless you piss me off
(DY)Play a lot of games//	yes
(DY)Wear hats//	not usually unless i am too lazy to comb my hair
(DY)Like to be outside//	yea its cool
(AY) Always mad//	not always
(AY) Always happy//	i try to be
(AY) A good friend//	i try to be
This or that (Last questions)
Night or day//	day
Snow or Rain//	snow
Stars or the Moon//	moon
Ocean or Pool//	pool
Boat or Plane//	plane
Books or Magazines//	magazine
Yu-Gi-Oh Cards or Pokemon Cards//	neither eww
Blonde or Black Hair//	black
Green or Blue Eyes//	green
Pants or Shorts//	pants
Pop or Rock//	rock
Punk or Emo//	punk
Tatoos or Piercings//	tatoos
Necklace or Ring//	necklace
Clouds or No Clouds//	clouds
Art or Literature//	art
Jeans or Baggy Pants//	jeans
Singing or Dancing//	singing
March or May//	both?
Halloween or Christmas//	christmas
Coke or Pepsi//	pepsi
Hug or Kiss//	both
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

2004-12-30T20:42:00.000-05:00

You're the innocent girl next door. You are
friendly, cheerful, kind, and happy. You like
to spread your happiness around making people
feel warm and joyous. To do this you like to
bake cookie and muffins while giving kind
compliments. Plus you actually give apples to
your teachers. You're pure and innocent and
most likely haven't broken many rules. Everyone
loves you. How can they not?

What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Totally.

2004-12-26T14:49:00.000-05:00

This is Jessica, David's girlfriend. He loves me and I love him so we have a lot of fun together because people who love each other get to have fun together and shi like that. Except...we live far away from each other and I really miss him. It's been about 4 months since we last saw each other and it seems like it's been even longer than that, and at the same time it feels like I saw him just yesterday. We've talked on the phone so much since I last saw him and I think we've gotten even closer because of being apart, if that makes any sense. It does. I love having David as my boyfriend...just having someone like him to talk to as often as we do makes each day so much better. I know that if I didn't talk to him as much as I do things would be a lot different with me and I would probably have a completely different outlook on things. Like...more negatively, and I would probably be a lot worse off than I am now. So David, I love you for everything you do and have done for me. You are everything I need.

Slowness in time

2004-12-14T13:25:00.000-05:00

I finished my finals and I'm done with school for a whole month. I got a b in my film and english classes but my algebra teacher didn't post my grade yet she better soon. I really want to go to massachussets to see jessica I'm going absolutly crazy not seeing her.. I miss her so badly. I'd do anything to see her. Mikes coming home this weekend so hopefully we can finish some of our songs.

Almost there to touch your heart

2004-12-10T13:11:00.000-05:00

I'm almost done with the first semester of school, on monday I have my last exam and then I'm done untill january 19th so I'm pretty excited. I might have a job soon working at the dollar general near my house I hope I get it I need the money. I got to stay home today because of not having a test. Yesterday was 8 months that I have been with the greatest person in my whole life.

2004-12-02T13:16:00.000-05:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

wheredyago?

2004-11-29T13:01:00.000-05:00

hey sorry for lack of postageing.. hmm lets see.. i got a new ps2 finally and gta san andreas which is muy excelante.. I got my schedule for next semester which starts january 19. I'm gonna major in computers, I'm not sure which field but it will involve computers. If I fail I'm screwed so I better do good. I still havent found a job which is so gay. I need one but no one hires or wants me. Assholes. Anyway hopefully MAWB will have our first show in december in Eoins basement. It will be awesome if we can do it. Thanksgiving was boring as hell, all I did was sit on the couch at my aunts house preying to god that we'd leave soon. how was everybody elses thanksgiving? comment with details or whatever. Lately I've just been doing my favoritest of all activities.. just laying around talking on the phone to the greatest person in the entire world! JESSICA I LOVE YOU! later homies.

Leaves and News

2004-11-18T13:18:00.000-05:00

I'm 18 now woo hoo lol its not a big deal. Its kinda cool but I don't feel different but I guess I'm not supposed to, age dosen't comply with knowlege and maturity. Anyway my first act as being 18 was throwing the newspaper on the roof. Ha it was an accident I was trying to throw it to the backyard for my mom and I threw too high and it landed on the roof. Then when I got home from school I had to shovel all these leaves from the gutter. Anyway the best thing about my birthday was yesterday the love of my life, Jessica sent me a package (thank god not UPS or I'd lose it ha) anyway it was so great, she gave me a will farrell dvd, coffee for the coffee machine that hasn't gotten here yet but should today, and pajama pants that are so comfy. And she write a note that was so sweet. I love her so much, I would be nothing without her but I'm everything with her. I hope to see her a lot more now. Once I get my car fixed and shi like that.

Due to lack of events

2004-11-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

I'm melting in your eyes

2004-11-05T14:26:00.000-05:00

Dunno what to talk about.. hmm.. I dropped my film class so I come home a lot earlier now which pisses off my grandfather. He thinks its a waste of gas to go for only an hour a day. Its my fucking education not like I'm going to the mall to piss away my day. It's crazy, I'm so close to 18 (I'm 18 now cause jessica said so lol)Anyway I can't do anything I want and I get treated like I'm still 5, lastnight during dinner I was going to get a plate and grammy was like wait let me do it! like I can't get my own fucking food.. I'm just a widdle kid who can't fucking do anything right in this house without getting bitched at. I am so close to hatered for everyone in this house. I can't stand being around any of them they make me feel like shit and a child.. I hope they will stop doing that when my birthday comes around.

concert of the year!

2004-11-01T13:00:00.000-05:00

yesterday me, mike, and his cousin went to va to see green day in concert with sugarcult and new found glory. Sugarcult were pretty good, new found glory were ok, but green day were amazing it was the greatest thing I ever saw. They had everyone in the palm of their hands it was so great. I couldn't stop thinking about Jessica not like I ever want to hehe. But I really missed her and I wanted to go home and talk to her. She called me when we were coming home but I couldn't really hear her. I love her so much. Today will be better with staying home and talking to her yay! :)

you are my only one

2004-10-28T11:00:00.000-04:00

I realized not too long ago that being in love makes lovey things that a person used to think was stupid look so nice. I always hated love songs and romantic movies. Everytime I saw or heard something like that I would be like man thats gay. It's so stupid who would care about that? Not too long ago a love song came on tv which explains the title. I got so sad and I was like aw I feel that way about a certain someone with the name of Jessica. Being in love with someone is indescribable. It's like sky diving and everytime you think or hear something about it you get a rush and a feeling that is amazing. I see movies now where a couple get together and fall in love and then they hurt eachother and I almost cry. Before I would be like haha what a fucking loser and now it makes me think of the greatest fear I could ever have and the one that could never happen. The loss of the love of my life. It's hard to do anything without thinking about her. Even when I'm just sitting down I begin to think about her and how badly I want to be near her. The weird thing though is being so far from her makes me know that we will be together forever. Theres no doubt in my mind. Anyway theres probably only one person who wants to hear about this so I'll leave you to the chickens.

jessica is a goddess in my eyes

2004-10-26T21:08:00.000-04:00

Wow Jessica is awesome she fixed my blog with this awesome chicken template. It's so great I love her so much she is so awesome.

Sleepwalking through life

2004-10-25T18:02:00.000-04:00

Mike was here all weekend which was cool. Saturday we hung out with some friends and saw team america and before it started the fire alarm went off. No fire but we figured someone pulled the alarm. Anyway I just got home from mikes house and we wrote a song which sounds really good. I am so tired tho and I kinda have a headache. so I'm gone

Ow my fucking finger

2004-10-22T17:58:00.000-04:00

ha nothing happened to my finger but my ankle hurts. I went skating and rolled on my ankle and it hurts to walk it figures we had to go to the store and walk around. Anyway I feel like I complain a whole lot on here and people can get the wrong idea about me. I am usually pretty laid back and don't usually get angry about anything. Becoming sad at the drop of a hat seems to happen a lot. Anyway I usually never cared about anything for as long as I can remember up untill last febuary. Someone entered my life and I have changed my outlook on life and I have care so much more especially about her. I have been so much happier because of her and its so great I couldn't do anything without thinking about her. :) Of course if you know me you know I am talking about Jessica hehe. Anyway my ankle and basically my whole body hurts but I just wanted you all to know I'm not really angry or depressed that often just when I am I have the best posts and something to talk about.

I am a fucking moron

2004-10-19T14:42:00.000-04:00

I wen't to the store but when i got home I ran into the house thinking i was gonna drive to the store but we decided to wait till later and my grandma would drive. I got outside when we were leaving and I realized I left my lights on. I felt stupid a little for that. I went to turn them off and my grandma wanted me to start it to make sure it would and it didn't. I was so mad, I knew I killed it with my stupidity of forgetting to turn off the lights. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. My grandma was so upset about it and I was because that might have been more money for them to waste into the car. I started feeling like shit and I was close to crying a few times. I couldn't believe that I didn't turn off them. Anyway I came home and tried it and it worked so its ok now. But I still feel like an idiot for doing that.

How and When will YOU die?
Created by andy and taken 62278 times on bzoink!
Name
Age
Birth Month
Die on	December 27, 2027
Die of	Cause Unknown
You will feel pain	True
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Who the heck are ya?! (the Real you)
Created by purplekrayon and taken 2925 times on bzoink!
Name
Age
Shoe Size
You will most likley:	spill tapioca pudding on your best firends cousins boyfirned
You resemble:	a stapler
People like you because:	you smile alot
Date you will eat sushi:	December 27, 2027
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